Do not worry…

 

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? … Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? … Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

(Matthew 6: 26, 6:27, 6:34)

I just wanted to share this with you as it was on my mind. This is the only bible quote I know and I have found much comfort in its wise words over the years. Today it is on my mind because my daughter went back to school after the long summer holidays and she was worried. Worried about the challenges she faces with some of her ‘friendships’, worried about the work being too hard. She worries about everything and she’s only 9 and it breaks my heart.

The thing about children is that even though they may be made up of parts of you and parts of your partner, they are their own unique beings. They may look like their Dad and act like their Mum (or vice versa) but at the end of the day they are themselves, no-one else, and as such as a parent you have no real control over how they feel and how they react to different situations, you can only guide them.

My daughter is very special. She’s a clever little thing which has the advantage of making learning easier for her, but it also means she has quite an adult head on her shoulders at times. I don’t remember worrying when I was 9, not like she does. I want so much for her to enjoy this time in her life with a light heart and a carefree approach and not to worry about everything.

I bought her a book when she was about 6 (she was already a worrier back then!) called “The Huge Bag of Worries” (by Virginia Ironside) in order to help her with all the worries that she had on her mind. It is a lovely little story about not bottling things up but letting them out and that by letting them out they get smaller. I think it helped a little at the time but my daughter DOES talk to me about everything but the worries don’t seem to get smaller, as much as I try to help. She has that adult problem of “overthinking” situations. I am guilty of this too at times but I try very hard NOT to do this as I know it serves no purpose and ultimately changes nothing.

In any case, I hope that by going to school today and facing her worries head on (after mulling things over for far too long over the holidays!) she will see that she had nothing to worry about after all! If not, I will continue to guide her in the right direction and offer my words of wisdom and hope that, even if she is unable to use my advice at this stage in her life, that hopefully she will keep hold of it and put it to good use at some point during the rest of her journey.

At the end of the day, I know that she has to learn her own lessons and make her own mistakes which is difficult to watch as a parent. But why worry about tomorrow? For, as the very wise Eckhart Tolle would say,

“All there is, is now.”

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9 thoughts on “Do not worry…

  1. Such wise words indeed ! I struggle with the same problems, and can already see it in my son (who couldn’t sleep the night before school started)… That book sounds great, I may try to get it for my children (and me ;) !).
    As you said, one of the toughest things about being a parent is letting our children go, watching them make their own mistakes, without being able to protect them…
    I hope your daughter was ok on her first day back to school ? Hugs to her from all the way over here xx

    • Thanks E. My other half reckons she gets the worrying gene from me but I don’t believe so – I might process things a lot before doing them but I still do them- my comfort zone has just shrunk a little over the years ;-) Our children have their own personalities so I don’t think we can be “blamed” for this trait or that trait! It IS difficult standing on the side lines of their lives though and sometimes feeling a bit helpless…my daughter is such an emotional being that it’s tough sometimes as you just want to protect them…As it was her day went okay- even though she had a terrible nosebleed :-( but she survived. I know she wd rather stay home with me but I think after a week or so and getting back into the swing of it things should be easier. As for the book it’s a lovely simple book and wd be great if you felt ur child was not expressing a worry or keeping sth inside so prob great for boys in particular…xx

  2. I just found your blog after doing a search for bloggers who mention Eckhart Tolle. I love your site! I started blogging a couple of months ago. We have some overlap in our topics, particularly spirituality (I am non-denominational, hence my admiration for Tolle’s work), well-being, personal growth and parenting. I don’t write about green living, per se, though I practice it as much as I can. I boosted our intake of organics after having breast cancer three years ago, so I look forward to learning more from you. I’m located in Virginia, and it’s been a terrible summer for gardening, both from a weather perspective and life getting in the way (I wrote a post about that not too long ago). Happy writing (now that kids are back in school)! Martha

    • Thank you so much for your comment Martha. I LOVE Eckhart Tolle – in particular his book The Power of Now. I have a blog post already written in my head about it ;-) just finding the time to ‘put pen to paper’. It is my favourite “self-help” book and on almost every page of my copy I have sth underlined. His words are so inspirational I just wish I cd remember them in my head all the time and live by them everyday as it almost reads like a guidebook for life!! I saw him in London at a talk he was giving a few years back and he was wonderful. Such a calm presence, as if so comfortable in himself- it was v inspiring.
      The main idea for my blog started with the awareness of the responsibility of being a mum and how all the choices I make affect my children and my partner and the green theme has become so much stronger in the last couple of years and even moreso since starting this blog. The research I do into different topics is so eye-opening for me and I’m so pleased when other people can benefit from this too. Our decision to go organic in a complete way was also spurred on by my dad having cancer – discovered this January – and reading more into this subject- particularly looking into the macrobiotic diet and vegan diet. I hope you are doing ok on your cancer journey? I will check out your blog too :-) I only saw the title of your recent post at the moment and saw u mentioned Feng Shui – another of my interests (and another blog post in the making!!) so it seems we do have a lot of crossovers! Thanks so much for stopping by and for commenting, I love getting feedback and love knowing there are other likeminded people out there xx

    • Thank you. You’re right, we really do need to keep reminding ourselves to deal with one day at a time but it is easier said than done at times. I have to keep referring back to these quotes to remind myself of them!! My daughter is doing well thank you. The relationships at school appear to have calmed down since last term – I think the thing with my daughter is that she is very straightforward, no game playing – what you see is what you get- whereas some of her peers are not so straightforward and she doesn’t play along. Ultimately if she stays the way she is and doesn’t let other people mould her too much she’ll do well in life xx

      • I’m an over-analyzer, organized planner and when something isn’t working out how I like it, I’m consumed with worry! So I understand :)
        Sounds like your daughter doesn’t like drama; too bad more girls aren’t like that!

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